I have decided to be honest. I don't get music. Last night when I was at the Good Time Happy Karaoke rent-a-room-by-the-hour-and-we-won't-tell-anyone-what-you-do-in-there in Sugerhouse I kept trying to sing along with so-called classics like "Livin' On A Prayer" and "Holdin' Out For A Hero" when I realized this is why I had no friends in Middle School.
My life was fine sitting with Jared Ferguson, the coolest guy in 7th grade with a sprouting of chin hair, leather lanyard, and black tank top who dained to let me eat lunch at his picnic table until one day he asked me if I liked the new Metallica Black Album. I had never even heard Metallica as far as I knew, let alone the Black Album but I needed to pass this test as I was not cool and I knew this would bring me one step closer to cooldom. So, I nodded with thougtful reminiscince and stated that it was "a good album." By doing so I knew I qualified myself as someone worth his precious cool time because I had (1) "listened" to Metallica's Black album and (2) as far as he knew even owned it. Ready to accept my place among the officially cool, I was caught off guard when he threw my a curve by requesting to know which of their albums I liked best.
SH#T! I had given no thought to the fact that they had released other records and that as a cool kid who liked the Black one I probably had thoughtful opinions about the other albums they had apparently produced. Seeing a loop-hole I proclaimed that the Black Album was actually the best one. The bastard must have smelled my pubescent fear because then he asked which SONG I liked best. There was no escape. I fumbled, "well track 3 was pretty good but call me a populist, the best is the Black single."
He asked me to hum it. BASTARD! So I was screwed, not cool in Middle School and no friends. Funny how that didn't stop me from telling Amie in 10th grade that I was going to get her Weezer's Orange album because I liked that one better then the others and in my first year of high school as a still mostly pre-pubescent boy-child that I had in fact been in 2 bands and that we rocked hard core.
So Karaoke was only as fun as trying to convince the slovenly drunken group that singing to Nat King Cole would be just as cool as singing Green Day's "When November Comes" (or whatever it's called). I tried to sing along until the quasi-recognizable hook came, doing my best not to tell Heather (23 from Boston and single) that I had written a song a lot like Gavin Degraw's Glycerine.
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HAHA! I DID and DO listen to incredible music, and I feel that if I had even gotten to the point of sitting next to the cool person in school, I totally would've passed the test!
But as it was, nobody knew that my quiet little self liked The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Weezer, Radiohead, etc, etc.
But I, too, listen to such greats as Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, and of course, Nat King Cole, who I believe has the smoothest, most enjoyable singing voice I have ever heard in my life.
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